Therapy
by HardcoreWeapon
Summary: nothing to do with therapy, but i think it is funny. special guests include Nero, and 3 unnamed from a different series. enjoy and please review!


**Therapy.**

"COME ON!! DANTE WE'RE GONNA BE LATE!!" Vergil yelled as he pulled on his signature blue coat. "I'm coming! Jeez! Why the hell do we have to go to this stupid thing anyway!?" Dante yelled, climbed out from underneath his blanket of cold pizza, empty beer cans and mouldy stale french fries .

"We gotta see him because me and you have PROBLEMS!" Vergil yelled as he grabbed Dante's red Kawasaki helmet and stepped out the door. Dante exited shortly after, carrying his red jacket on his shoulder. "Fine but I still think we should settle this the old way." Dante said as he got on his red Kawasaki ninja. "Let's just go. We're gonna be late." Vergil said as he sped off on his matching Kawasaki, except his was blue. "Whatever…" Dante said to himself and tore out of his garage after him.

Vergil and Dante burst through the glass double doors at the same time, walking up to the receptionist desk. "We have a 10:45 appointment with with a doctor Mu Ppet" Vergil said to the receptionist, who was busy looking down at a notepad, her long blonde hair obscuring her face. "the doctor will see you now. Third door on the right." Vergil said thank you and left for the door, leaving Dante with the unfortunate receptionist. "So… you got anything to do tonight?" Dante asked her with a sleazy smile. The girl looked up and said she was married, but that was not what made Dante nearly wet himself. Dante screamed a high pitched girlish squeak and ran to the door Vergil went through. What he saw next made his blood go cold.

In the room was Vergil laying on the couch, with a Muppet sitting next to him. It was yellowish in color, bald and wore glasses even though he appeared to have no eyes. Dante put two and two together… and got five as his answer. He tried again and… got thirty-two. He tried a third time and… gas came out. He tried really hard and… got a nose bleed. Dizzy from doing more thinking in a minute than he usually did in a month he staggered over to his brother and slapped him in the face. "HEY!! Sleeping Beauty! Wake the hell up!" Dante yelled in his brother's ear. "BAGPIPES IN MY MAYONAISE!!" Vergil shouted as he shot up, head butting his twin, sending him flying to the other side of the room due to his superhuman strength.

"What the hell!" Vergil yelled still dazed. The yellow Muppet jumped up and yelled for Vergil to lay back down. "NO!! You must lay down for the spell to continue!". Vergil turned to the Doctor and said "What did you say?".

"Um… uh… I uh… what I meant was uh… you might get dizzy?" the doctor said. "He's lying! They're all Muppets!" Dante yelled as he pulled his head free from the concrete wall it had gotten stuck in. "What! Damn they know! Animal! Grab them!" Doctor Mu yelled. A door about 4 feet tall opened near Dante's leg and out came a small, strange, red thing. "HA!" Dante said, "that's you're animal! HA!! He's a runt!". Then Animal picked Dante up and threw him at Vergil with one hand. The two brothers collided and flew to the opposite wall, impacting and slumping on the floor in a pile. Animal was walking towards the twins chanting random words like 'butter' and 'gravy'.

Before he could reach Dante and Vergil, Nero exploded through the window and raised his sword at doctor Mu. "WHAT THE HELL!!" doctor Mu yelled. Animal started chanting "HELL HELL HELL HELL HELL!!". Nero leveled his double barreled handgun at Animal's red fluffy head and fired three times. Animal dropped dead. Then he turned to Doctor Mu. "This is for Kyrie you bastard!" Nero raised his devil bringer and punched the ground, pulsing demonic power through it and obliterating the entire fifty storie building with one punch. Vergil and Dante were on the forty-ninth floor.

As they climbed out of the wreckage Dante said "didn't I leave my bike by the front door?" Vergil just laughed. What they didn't notice was a small yellow hand emerging from the rubble.


End file.
